


Kermullet Gets A Mullet Cut™

by The Kerunk (Gleefreak97)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: All of the Best Things, Bad frog references and puns, Bet on It, Crack, Froggy smiles, Gen, Just take it okay, Memelicious, Pure Crack, Start of the Kerpocalypse, Walmart, frogilicious, kermullet has a great day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 17:30:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9196193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gleefreak97/pseuds/The%20Kerunk
Summary: Kermullet wakes up, knowing he's going to have a great day. While he runs into some complications, it turns out alright in the end.Featuring: a trip to the local Walmart, some dance practice, coloring and the greatest Mullet Cut of all time





	

**Author's Note:**

> The beginning of the Kerpocalypse
> 
> Inspired by the great chat over at Discord for the Voltron Big Bang.

_ It’s not that easy, being green _

_ Having to spend each day, the color of the leaves _

_ When I think it could be nicer…. _

 

As the alarm went off, Kermullet opened his eyes, smiling his large froggy smile. It was Saturday, and he knew what that meant: it was time for his weekly mullet cut. 

 

Leaping out of his bed, he gave a giant croak before he ran down the stairs, eager to get out of his home as quickly as possible. This wasn’t just any day, it was mullet cut day, and Kermullet would be damned if he was going to be late for his appointment: 3 P.M. sharp. As it was every week. 

 

With his tiny green hands, he leafed through the cabinets, hoping to find his favorite cereal, “Fly Berries,” but was disappointed with his findings. Deciding to just go along with the froggy flow, he went to the fridge and pulled out his last container of “Green Goo,” the unfortunate name of his favorite type of yogurt. However, upon opening the container, he noticed a small speck of green white lying within the mountains of lime deliciousness, and dropped the container in horror.

 

Was that…..mold? In his Green Goo? This wasn’t possible, it just couldn’t be. Kermullet was devastated that out of all of the days for his yogurt to go and give up, it had to be on mullet cut day. (While it was true Kermullet could have just scooped out the little piece of mold in the yogurt and eaten the rest. It is well known that frogs would rather starve before eating anything they considered to be dead. To Kermullet, this yogurt was dead.)

 

Staring around at his kitchen full of other food products, Kermullet decided that it was necessary to make a trip to the store before making his way across town to his barber. However, he knew if he didn’t leave now, at precisely 7:30 A.M., he would be late for his appointment. And he just couldn’t have that. 

 

His mind made up, Kermullet made his way back upstairs, passing his wall of froggy fix ideologies (The Bullfrog was real. He knew it.) and other various items, all of which he had either gotten from the thrift store or the dumpster across the street. To Kermullet, if it was trash, it could pass. 

 

Grabbing his favorite midriff maroon jacket from his coat rack, he stood in front of the mirror. Looking over his appearance, he gave a shrug before heading back downstairs, feeling as if nothing really mattered until he had both his favorite cereal and yogurt in hand. 

 

Giving a quick goodbye to the ghosts and the monster that lived in his basement, Kermullet headed out into the bright sunshine. Glancing around anxiously, he couldn’t help but hope that the vampires would stay home today. He had forgotten his kit at home, and he was pretty sure he was out of garlic anyway. He’s have to pick that up at the store. 

Walking down the street, Kermullet glanced around at all the people that were out and about today. There was an elderly couple across the street, sitting on their porch with glasses of what Kermullet could only assume was froggy blood. Walking past them, there was a woman pushing a stroller that could have only fit a gremlin. 

 

‘Geez,’ Kermullet thought. ‘Why do all of these monsters have to be out on a day when I left the kit at home. And on mullet cut day too.’

 

As Kermullet continued to walk, he spotted the same folks again. And again. By the time Kermullet had walked what felt like forever, he had seen the same elderly couple approximately 37 times, not including the time he spent spinning around in a circle to try to see how a ghost must feel when getting sucked up by the Ghostbusters. Whatever was happening, Kermullet didn’t like it, and he had to cross the street in order to get out of what he knew must have been a time loop. He’d have to call the mayor about that. 

 

Eventually, after many failed calls to the mayor on his FliPhone, Kermullet found himself in front of his local Walmart. Why he had decided to walk all the way to Walmart, when he could have gone to the local supermarket right down the street from his house, he didn’t know, but he was here now. With a croak of a sigh, he headed inside and hopped his way to the dairy aisle. 

 

Making his way around the many tall strangers standing around, he ended up in front of the yogurt section, which was larger than he had originally thought. As he stood there, he noticed that he really couldn’t see half of what they offered. He just wasn’t tall enough. Now, it wasn’t really Kermullet’s fault that he was so small. He himself blamed the lack of a froggy puberty existing for his dilemma (something that his roommates never understood), but knew that he could find a way to complete any task (if not for him, then for his long distance love, the Flyman.)

 

‘Flyswatters,’ he thought. ‘Bullfrog would  _ never _ have this problem.’ 

 

At the mention of his hero, he had a brilliant idea: he would just have to be as tall as his hero. Gearing up his little legs, he hopped as high up as he could. However, Kermullet only got a glimpse of what he considered parfaitdise before he hit his gorgeous locks on the sill over the display, falling back to the ground with a low groan. 

 

Rubbing his mullet, he checked for any major damage to his hair before looking up sadly at the display. In his few seconds of glory, he hadn’t seen any ‘Green Goo.’ This saddened the little hopper, and he felt a little piece of him die along with the yogurt that now lay spilled on his kitchen floor. 

 

Picking himself up, Kermullet headed over to the cereal aisle, hoping that he could find his favorite treat. Looking up and down the shelves, he was again disappointed to find nothing. Well, there were things, but nothing froggy friendly. With this, he sat down in the middle of the aisle, avoiding the gremlins looking at him strangely, and allowed large froggy tears to fall down his face.

 

‘This isn’t fair,’ he thought. ‘Walmart must be frogist.’

 

Kermullet sat for a while, and considered everything that was going on. He let himself cry, and while doing so counted at least 6 things in the aisle that could be counted as dangerous to frogs. It really wasn’t fair, for little Kermullet to sit there like that. But, he did it anyway. That is, until thoughts of his love came to his mind.

 

Now, Kermullet wasn’t one for romance. He didn’t really have time for it, while running his town’s sector of the Ghostbuster Society and all. Even if it was just him and a few others (who came out of pity), it still mattered. But, all of that changed when Kermullet had met Flyman, the beautiful creature that hung out and seemed to live behind the Arby’s across town. He...She...Whatever it was was glorious, gorgeous….everything Kermullet had ever wanted.

Ever since that day, Kermullet had gone to Arby’s every Thursday, sitting behind the restaurant by the door, blasting _ Frogilicious _ in hopes that the Flyman would think he was really fly like a G6 and come see him. So far, it hadn’t happened. But, Kermullet hoped; and Kermullet dreamed. It was this strength, part from loving so greatly and another from having to get used to carrying around the large boombox he blasted his music from, that he decided to stand up, and walk out of Walmart.

 

As Kermullet walked away from the store that had crushed any hope of him having a delicious and nutritious breakfast, the words that Kermullet believed the Flyman would say to him came to mind:  _ Big Frog’s don’t cry, Kermullet. Big Frog’s don’t cry. _

 

It was with this statement that Kermullet decided he could live on.

 

Getting out his phone, Kermullet checked the time. It was 12:30 P.M., and he was surprised he hadn’t spent even more time on his trip to the store. Usually, he sat in the aisle crying until one of the workers came to check on him, but not today! Today was a good day for Kermullet, and it was made even better by the thought that he wasn’t going to be late for his mullet cut appointment.

 

Spinning on his froggy feet, Kermullet headed in the direction of his favorite barber shop. Really, it was the only barber shop that would even think about cutting the strange hair of a frog, but he didn’t mind. It was still his favorite, and it was going to stay that way.

 

While the shop wasn’t that far away from the Walmart, Kermullet decided that he could still  practice his dancing on the way there. It may not look it, but he was an excellent modern dancer. Of course, if he was going to do that, he needed music. Considering he couldn’t use headphones (Frogs had no outside ears. It was truly a travesty.), he decided he had to play it off of his phone.

 

Turning up the music on his phone as loud as it could go, Kermullet felt like it wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t….great enough. It surely couldn’t match up to the smooth froggy moves he was about to throw down. Clearing his stubby throat, he hummed a quick tune before breaking into his opening stance. He hadn’t written the choreography for this dance, necessarily, but rather had based it on his favorite movie franchise:  _ High School Musical.  _ (His favorite was  _ High School Musical 2 _ ). Giving one last hum to himself, Kermullet began to belt the lyrics of his favorite  _ High School Musical  _ tune. 

 

_ Everybody's always talking at me _

_ Everybody's trying to get in my head _

_ I wanna listen to my own heart talking _

_ I need to count on myself instead _

 

As his screeches filled the still air, Kermullet ran down the sidewalk, his hops and leaps outdoing only the talents of Zac Efron (His favorite human actor. He was convinced he must be a shapeshifter, of some sort.). The heads of the strangers living in the homes poked their heads out, their eyes wide and staring directly at Kermullet. He didn’t mind really: it just meant that he really did need a haircut, considering this was the best performance of his routine he had given in quite some time. 

 

_ Did you ever _

 

Kermullet struck a pose, his eyes cast down to the sidewalk and his hands dramatically gripping his nearly perfect hair. 

 

_ Lose yourself to get what you want? _

 

He lowered his voice, matching the tune that he had memorized after hours of rewatching all of the  _ High School Musical _ films. 

 

_ Did you ever _

 

Kermullet changed his pose, sticking his gangly arms in the air, allowing his boneless hands to flop dramatically. His croak was high, almost too high, but he knew the passion of his love for Zac Efron could pull him through. 

 

_ Get on a ride, then wanna get off? _

 

Kermullet continued on down the sidewalk, taking occasional chances to pause and break into dramatic poses that would put Beyonce to shame.

 

After his performance, Kermullet struck one final pose, falling to the ground and belting a long (and quite impressive) croak to the sky. Expecting a sea of applause to erupt, he was disappointed to find that he was met with silence. Well, there was some noise, but to Kermullet it sounded like the far away screech of a beluga whale. They didn’t live near the ocean, so he ignored it and stood, finding himself in front of the shop. 

 

‘Finally,’ he thought. ‘My favorite part of the day is here!’

 

Glancing down at his FliPhone, he checked the time: 12:45 P.M. Considering he had sprinted screeching down the sidewalk, Kermullet decided this was acceptable and made his way into the shop. 

 

Hopping inside, Kermullet gave up a froggy grin for the name of the shop, which he thought was quite clever. It was called  _ Allow Me To  _ **_Mullet_ ** _ Over _ , a name that Kermullet himself had submitted when the shop had first opened. He thought it was quite clever, and was proud enough to leap over a double decker sundae when he had heard it was chosen. It was a good moment for him, and was part of the reason why he loved this place so much. Well, that, and the flavored waters they handed out for free.

 

Walking up to the receptionist, he croaked loudly, forcing her to lean over the desk and see that yes, Kermullet had arrived. While her eyes rolled, he didn’t really notice, too interested in the new flavors of water they had acquired during the week. Not noticing anything particularly froggy friendly, he frowned, picking up his usual flavor of grape. He didn’t know why, but he loved grapes. Even if the water left a funny tingle in his stomach after he drank it. 

 

Sitting down in the lone chair in the waiting area, Kermullet looked around, straightening his jacket as he did so. He hoped he didn’t look too overdressed, knowing that he would get strange looks if he stuck out too much. It didn’t usually happen, but he never knew what could pop out at him. Noticing a lone coloring book and pack of crayons lying on the table in front of him, he moved closer to see what theme it could possibly be. It turned out to be marine themed, which wasn’t his favorite, but as coloring was one of his pastimes, he let it go.

 

Kermullet colored for quite some time, turning a whale into a vampire and color coding a pack of fish to spell ‘Flyman’ in their scales. He put hearts around this one, and even signed it so anyone looking in the book could know who designed it, and who loved Flyman the most. He just hoped one the gremlins who usually read them took his love away from him. 

 

Finally, after what felt like forever for our frogger, Kermullet was called by his barber. He had never actually learned the man's name, only referring to him as ‘The Barber’ in his mind, but he still liked the man. Tapping his flimsy froggy feet on the floor, he waited patiently for the man to put the mini chair on top of the bigger chair, which both he and the little gremlins he saw around the shop had to use in order to get their hair cut. 

 

Once he was done, the Barber helped Kermullet onto the chair, placing a large robe around the frogs small neck. Kermullet hummed, excited to finally be getting his mullet cut. The man picked up his scissors, standing in front of the frog to size up his hair. He walked around Kermullet, nodding his head. 

 

After a few moments of this, the Barber moved to the back of the frog’s head. Pausing for one moment, he moved dramatically to the ends of Kermullet’s glorious mullet. Opening his scissors the smallest amount, he snipped once, dropping a few stray hairs to the floor. With a nod, he took the robe off in a flourish.

 

Kermullet jumped up, spinning around in another impression of the ghosts off of Ghostbusters, and was happily satisfied with the job the Barber had done. He gave a frogirific laugh, nodding to the man, who nodded back, and headed to the door, pausing only to give the receptionist a handful of dried cranberries. That was the biggest tip he had given in months, and he was satisfied to give it. 

 

Hopping home, Kermullet decided that he had had a wonderful day, and that it had truly lived up to its potential. Really, it had gone exactly to plan. Croaking in joy, he decided to spin all the way home. Maybe if he did this, he could avoid the time loop that had almost gotten him earlier (Not that the mayor seemed to care.). 

 

Arriving home, Kermullet let out a croak of a sigh, greeting his fellow roommates with his own rendition of all the songs titled  _ Hello,  _ all at once. After this, he looked at the clock. Although it was only around 5:30, he decided that it was time to hit the lilypad and get some rest for tomorrow. 

 

As he limped up the stairs, he gave a yawn and made his way into his room. Once he sat down on his bed, he turned to his night stand. He placed a kiss on his picture of Big Frog, followed by his crayon drawing of Flyman he had made the day he had first seen his love, and finally, his signed picture of Zac Efron that he had bought off of Amazon. 

 

Laying down, Kermullet gave one final screech before shutting off his light, leaving the curtains open to give him the solar energy he knew he needed to wake up the next day. As he drifted off to sleep only one word came to his mind:  _ Frogilicious. _

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't hate me.
> 
> You can judge me at gleefreak97.tumblr.com


End file.
